I cancelled the unlimited car wash. It was about thirty dollars a month, which is roughly three hundred and sixty dollars a year. The replacement plan is a bucket, a sponge, and soap. I ran the numbers. The supplies came to about thirty dollars. By my math, that is two hundred washes before I break even. I have not washed the car since I cancelled.
about nine thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
The unlimited wash covered one car. A second car doubles the amount of clean car I can get from one bucket. Donna asked where it would go. I said in the driveway, in front of the hose. She said we already have a car. I said now we have a reason to use the bucket twice.
about one hundred and eighty dollars. Shark rating 0.6.
A car wash needs a sign. Otherwise the driveway is just a driveway with a bucket in it. This one says OPEN, which is accurate for the two hundred washes I have scheduled in my head. The number is low because the sign is visible from the street.
about two hundred and twenty dollars. Shark rating 0.8.
The soap, the mitt, the towels, and the brush need a place to sit while I think about washing the car. A cart gives them a home. The home is in the garage. The car is in the driveway. This is called workflow.
about one hundred and eighty dollars. Shark rating 1.1.
The unlimited wash used high pressure. This uses high pressure. The only difference is I have to hold the wand and Donna has to watch. Donna said I cancelled a car wash to buy a pressure washer. I said the pressure washer is the car wash, only I own it.
about sixty-five dollars. Shark rating 1.3.
The car wash put foam on the car. The pressure washer puts water on the car. The foam cannon puts foam on the water. This is the missing step. Without it, the pressure washer is just a hose with a bad attitude.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.0.
I assume the car wash had soft water. I want soft water. Hard water leaves spots, and spots are the car wash coming back to laugh at me. The softener makes the bucket more like the subscription, which is the whole point.
about nine hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.2.
If I wash the car in the driveway, the garage floor stays dry. If I wash it in the garage, the floor needs a coating. I have not decided. The coating decides for me. It says wash the car in the garage, where the bucket can see the sign.
about forty-five dollars. Shark rating 1.6.
A car wash apron keeps the soap off my shirt. The shirt is not part of the subscription. The apron is. It has pockets for the sponge. The sponge is not here yet. The pockets are ready.
about ninety dollars. Shark rating 1.7.
Two hundred washes is a lot of bending. The stool lets me sit while I clean the wheels. It also lets me sit while I look at the car. Both are part of the process. One is the work. One is the supervision.
about forty dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
The car wash did the underside. The bucket does not. This attachment sprays water under the car, which is where the car wash made its money. I think. I have not looked under the car. I am trusting the attachment.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.5.
This takes the water from the hose and makes it behave. I do not know enough to explain it. I know the car wash had a machine. This is a machine. The bucket has no machine. The bucket needs one.
about one hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.9.
The car wash had a dryer. I have a leaf blower. It blows air. Air dries. Donna said the leaf blower is for leaves. I said leaves are not the only thing that can be blown.
about one hundred and twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.0.
The car wash had vacuums. They were free with the wash. This one is not free, but I own it. I can vacuum the car and the garage. The garage has leaves. The leaf blower is not for the garage now.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
The car wash had air for tires. The compressor gives me air for tires and for blowing water out of the trim. I do not have a tire gauge. I have a compressor. The compressor is the beginning of the tire department.
about one hundred and sixty dollars. Shark rating 1.7.
If I wash the car two hundred times, I will also need to polish it. The polisher removes the mistakes I make with the sponge. The sponge has not made a mistake yet. The polisher is ready.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 2.0.
The polisher needs pads. A polisher without pads is a heavy towel. The pads make it a system. The system has a cart. The cart is in the garage. The car is still in the driveway.
about twenty-five dollars. Shark rating 2.1.
The clay bar removes things the soap leaves behind. I have not used soap yet. The clay bar is for later, after the soap and before the polish. It is a plan. Plans are cheaper than car washes.
about seventy dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
The car wash offered a coating. I said no. Now I can say yes to myself. The coating protects the paint from the two hundred washes that have not happened. It also protects the paint from the car wash I cancelled.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.2.
The wheels are the dirtiest part. A brush reaches the part of the wheel the sponge cannot. The sponge is not offended. The sponge is in the garage. The brush is in the cart.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 2.4.
The car wash had shiny tires. The dressing makes the tires shiny. It also makes the car look washed, which is useful because the car is not washed. This is presentation. Presentation is half the wash.
about eighteen dollars. Shark rating 2.3.
The plastic trim fades. The restorer makes it dark again. This is not washing. It is maintenance. The bucket does not do maintenance. I need both. Donna said this is how the cart gets full. I said this is how the car gets clean.
about twelve dollars. Shark rating 2.5.
Bugs and tar do not come off with soap. They come off with bug and tar remover. I bought it before I had bugs. This is called preparation. Preparation is the part of the wash that happens in the garage.
about ten dollars. Shark rating 2.7.
The car wash had glass cleaner. The bucket has soap. Soap on glass is not the same. The glass cleaner makes the windows clear so I can see that the car is not washed. Clear windows are a safety feature.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.8.
The car wash used towels. I need towels. These are not the bath towels. Donna has a rule about bath towels. The Amazon diet was about subscriptions. These are a one-time textile purchase. The textiles are for the car.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.9.
A regular towel leaves lint. A drying towel leaves less lint. The car wash left no lint. The drying towel is the closest I can get without going back to the car wash. It is a big towel. It is not a bath towel. Donna checked.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 3.0.
The sponge is for the bucket. The mitt is for the car. The mitt has a lining so my hand does not get soapy. My hand getting soapy is not the point. The point is the car. The mitt understands this.
about twelve dollars. Shark rating 3.1.
The grit guard sits at the bottom of the bucket and traps dirt. It keeps the sponge from picking the dirt back up. I do not have dirt yet. The grit guard is ready for dirt. This is the kind of foresight the car wash never appreciated.
about eighteen dollars. Shark rating 2.4.
This lets me wash the car without a hose. I have a hose. I bought this in case the hose stops working. The hose is in the garage. The waterless wash is in the garage. Both are ready. Only one of them is connected.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.6.
This is like waterless wash but with a bucket. I have a bucket. It is the same bucket math but with fewer steps. The steps are not the problem. The car is the problem. The rinseless wash is a backup problem solver.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 2.9.
The hose needs a place to live. The hanger holds the hose on the wall. This keeps the hose out of the driveway. The driveway is where the car is. The car is still dirty. The hose is at least organized.
about forty dollars. Shark rating 3.0.
The hanger holds the hose. The reel winds the hose. I need both because one is for storage and one is for winding. This is not a duplicate. This is a system. Donna said it is a duplicate. I said the system disagrees.
about thirty-five dollars. Shark rating 3.2.
The bucket needs water. The water needs a hose. The hose is the part that connects the house to the bucket. Without it, the bucket is a chair for the sponge. The sponge has been sitting in that chair for a while.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 3.3.
The hose has no control. The nozzle gives it control. It also makes the water come out in a fan, which looks like a car wash. The car is not washed, but the water looks professional. Professional water is most of the battle.
about ten dollars. Shark rating 3.5.
The car wash had a squeegee for the windows. This one is for the windows. The glass cleaner is for the inside. The squeegee is for the outside. They are a pair, like the bucket and the sponge, only less likely to be used.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 3.8.
The soap is the one thing the cancelled wash and I agree on. It makes water do the work. I have a bottle. The bottle is not open. The bottle is waiting for the bucket. The bucket is waiting for the driveway.
about six dollars. Shark rating 4.0.
The sponge is the tool. It holds water and soap and moves them to the car. It also holds the promise that I will use it. The promise is doing most of the work. The sponge is fine with that.
about eight dollars. Shark rating 4.3.
This is the item that makes the two hundred washes possible. It holds water. It holds the soap. It holds the sponge. I put it on the driveway. The car is still dirty. The bucket is ready.