I cancelled the newspaper. It was about twenty dollars a month. That is roughly two hundred and forty dollars a year, which is not the point. The point is that I told Donna the news would come from a device. The device now needs replacing. The replacement is the story.
about eight thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
A printing press makes the news tangible. I have a driveway. The driveway is already tangible. Donna asked where the press would go. I said we would find out together. This is the kind of purchase that ends with me explaining a loading dock to a neighbor.
about seven hundred fifty thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
The device gets traffic before I do. A helicopter sees traffic from above. Donna said we do not have a helipad. I said a helipad is just a driveway with confidence.
about two hundred thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.5.
When the device loses signal, I need a truck that does not. It also has a dish on top, so it looks like it is listening. I have written down that this is not a yes. I have also written down that it is not a no.
about forty thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.6.
A tower gives the news a place to land. The device is small. The tower is not. Donna asked who would climb it. I said that was a second problem.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 0.7.
Every newsroom has a globe. I have never been in a newsroom, but I have seen them in films. The globe is for context. Context is not a room, but it helps a room feel informed.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 0.8.
Weather is news. A balloon goes up and tells me what is happening up there. When it comes down, that is also weather. I am not saying I can control the balloon. I am saying the balloon is part of the reporting.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 0.9.
The device does not cover the harbor. The harbor has news. A marine radio covers the harbor. We do not live near the harbor, but I could start. Every news operation needs a coast.
about one hundred fifty dollars. Shark rating 1.0.
Shortwave radio reaches places the device does not. Places with weather and shipping. I do not have a shipping problem. I am building one. That is called initiative.
about one hundred twenty dollars. Shark rating 1.1.
The scanner tells me what the police are doing. The device tells me what the device thinks the police are doing. One is faster. Donna said the scanner was for people with hobbies. I said news is a hobby with sirens.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.2.
Planes are news when they are low. An airband scanner lets me hear the planes before the device tells me they are news. The device is not reliable. The planes are at least loud.
about one hundred eighty dollars. Shark rating 1.3.
An antenna is cheaper than a tower and less emotional. It goes on the roof. The roof is already there. The roof has a leak, but the antenna is wireless, so the leak is not my department.
about two hundred fifty dollars. Shark rating 1.4.
A dish is a device that receives the news from the sky. The tablet receives it from the router. The router receives it from the cable. I am cutting out the middlefish.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.5.
If I am going to read the news, I should read it like a person on television. The teleprompter keeps my eyes moving. I read the news out loud anyway. That is why I need it.
about one hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.6.
The device needs to be held still while I read. A tripod holds it still. My hands are not the problem. My hands are part of the problem, but the tripod is the solution.
about eighty dollars. Shark rating 1.7.
The news looks bad in a dark kitchen. A ring light makes the kitchen look like a studio. The kitchen is not a studio. That is exactly why it needs help.
about one hundred twenty dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
The tablet microphone picks up the refrigerator. A lavalier microphone picks up me. The refrigerator is more reliable. That is not the point.
about ninety dollars. Shark rating 1.9.
I need to record the news so I can hear it again. The device can record, but the device is being replaced. A handheld recorder records the replacement process. History will want this.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.0.
Some news happens across the street. Binoculars let me see it without moving the device. Walking over would be simpler. The device does not walk, and I am trying to respect its limits.
about one hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.1.
A monocular is one half of binoculars. It fits in a pocket. The news does not fit in a pocket, but the monocular does. I have eyes. I also have a pocket.
about one hundred fifty dollars. Shark rating 2.2.
The car sees news every day. A dashcam keeps the car’s version. The device cannot go in the car because the device is staying home to be replaced. The car sees parking. Parking is a kind of news.
about ninety dollars. Shark rating 2.3.
A security camera is a news camera aimed at the yard. It tells me what happened on the yard before the device does. Nothing happens on the yard. That is what the camera is for.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.4.
The weather station sits outside and tells me the weather inside. The device tells me the weather from a building somewhere else. The window tells me the weather. The window is not networked.
about sixty dollars. Shark rating 2.5.
A barometer tells me when the pressure is changing. The device tells me when the app is changing. Pressure is more honest. I cannot feel pressure, which is why I need a barometer.
about forty dollars. Shark rating 2.6.
The rain gauge measures the rain in the yard. The device measures the rain in a zip code. The yard is small. The yard is the only place I am an expert.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.7.
The news device needs power. The sun has power. A solar panel puts the sun in the plan. The sun is already in the plan, but not with a panel.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.8.
When the power goes out, the device goes out. A portable power station keeps the device on. When the power goes out we should talk. We can talk about the device.
about sixty dollars. Shark rating 3.1.
A battery bank is a small power station for the device. It fits in a bag. I do not carry a bag. I will carry a bag if the battery is in it.
about twenty-five dollars. Shark rating 3.4.
A surge protector protects the device from the house. The house has opinions. The house is not out to get me. The house has a history.
about one hundred twenty dollars. Shark rating 3.6.
The device needs Wi-Fi. The router provides Wi-Fi. The current router has a light that blinks in a way I do not trust. The light is fine. The light is not the point.
about two hundred fifty dollars. Shark rating 3.8.
A mesh system puts Wi-Fi in more than one place. The device moves around the house because I move around the house. I sit in one chair. The chair is not the whole house.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 4.0.
The tablet needs to stand up so I can read it. A stand makes it stand. I can hold it. I need my hands for coffee.
about seventy dollars. Shark rating 4.2.
A keyboard lets me type searches. The tablet has a screen keyboard. The screen keyboard is a suggestion. I only search the weather. Weather is a gateway.
about forty dollars. Shark rating 4.3.
A stylus is a pencil for the tablet. I need to mark the news. I do not mark anything. I will mark the important parts and then forget them.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 4.5.
The tablet has a light. The light has a blue part. Blue light glasses make the blue part less personal. I should just go to bed. The news does not sleep.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 4.6.
The tablet will live on the kitchen table. The kitchen table is where things fall. A rugged tablet can fall. I should not drop it. The floor is not listening.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 4.8.
This is the replacement. It receives the news. It does not require a driveway, a tower, or a helicopter. Donna says this is the first sensible thing on the list. I say the list was context.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 4.9.
I need to see the tablet. Reading glasses help me see the tablet. I already have reading glasses. Those are for books. These are for news.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 4.95.
The tablet needs light. A desk lamp gives it light. The kitchen has a light. The kitchen light is for the kitchen.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 5.0.
The tablet will sit on the kitchen table. The kitchen table is cold. Socks are how I keep the news coming. Donna says I am not to call a pair of socks an infrastructure project. I am calling it a foundation. Donna said, Just buy the socks.