Strava Premium is gone. That is about eight dollars a month back in the house. The plan is a monthly pack of shoelaces. I will judge every run by whether the laces survive. The laces do not care about my pace, which is a relief.
about ninety dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
The laces deserve a place to retire. A shelf is not a museum. I have measured the wall and the wall is willing. This is a low-survival purchase because the box is large and the wall is in the living room.
about forty dollars. Shark rating 0.6.
Aglets are the metal tips. Gold ones tell the lace it has made it. I do not need every lace to feel successful, but the front pair sets the tone.
about twenty-five dollars. Shark rating 0.7.
Strava gave me a number for everything. Now the gauge gives me a number for the laces. If the number is wrong I can tighten the laces. This is called data. Donna asked why I need a gauge. I said because tension is the whole sport now.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 0.8.
When a lace snaps I need to know why. Was it friction, weather, or poor life choices? The kit has a little mat and a magnifying glass. It looks like crafts with a grudge.
about one hundred twenty dollars. Shark rating 0.9.
The butler holds one shoe while I deal with the other. He does not talk. That is the main feature. I have not told anyone he is a wooden stand.
about eighty dollars. Shark rating 1.0.
Laces dry out. A humidor keeps them ready. I do not know if that is true for cotton, but the box has a little dial and I trust dials.
about one hundred fifty dollars. Shark rating 1.1.
I can put a shoe on it and watch the laces move without leaving the room. This is training for the shoe. It is also training for me to sit still.
about eighteen dollars. Shark rating 1.2.
Every lace gets a page. Date of purchase, color, known weaknesses. Donna put me on an Amazon diet once. This is paperwork, so it should count as diet food.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 1.3.
I need to know if the new laces are the same width as the old laces. The eye can lie. The caliper cannot. I have three calipers. This one is for laces.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 1.4.
Laces get scratched in the drawer. Velvet prevents scratching. I have not seen a scratched lace, but I have seen the drawer. The drawer is not kind.
about forty-five dollars. Shark rating 1.5.
After a wet run the laces come off and go in the press. It keeps them flat. An iron is a threat with a cord. A press is a tool.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.6.
It says LACES in the basement. The run is over when the sign is on. This is a ritual. The sign is for the laces and for me. Mostly the laces.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 1.7.
I mount the camera low so it can watch the laces during the run. Then I review the footage and see which lace gave up first. Looking down is not a replay.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
The laces move fast. A normal camera makes them a blur. A high speed camera makes them a story. The story has a plot. The plot is tension.
about twenty-five dollars. Shark rating 1.9.
It goes on the shoe and tells me if the lace is vibrating in a way I should know about. I do not yet know which way that is. The sensor does. That is the point of sensors.
about ten dollars. Shark rating 2.0.
I set the shoe on the bench and check if the lace line is level. A crooked lace can ruin the whole morning. The bench is where the truth lives.
about one hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.1.
A small fridge for the shoes. Not for food. The shoes get cool and the laces get a calm environment. The cheese was never in.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.2.
Wet shoes are bad for laces. The rack keeps them apart and lets air do the work. This is the first purchase that might be allowed on the counter.
about eight dollars. Shark rating 2.3.
Dirt gets into the lace and then into the knot. The brush gets it out. I have a brush for the grill. This one is for the shoes.
about nine dollars. Shark rating 2.4.
I do not want to bend the heel. A bent heel is a bad start. The horn also gives me a reason to sit down. Not enough reasons are purposeful.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 2.5.
The laces are the scoreboard, but the vest is how I get home to report the score. It is bright and it makes me visible. Donna said I look like a traffic cone with a plan. I said thank you.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 2.6.
I run early. The laces need to be seen. The headlamp points where I look, which is usually down at the laces. This is the correct use of a headlamp.
about twelve dollars. Shark rating 2.7.
A dry mouth is not a lace problem, but it is a problem. The bottle has a lid and the lid does not leak. Cups are not portable in the same way.
about ten dollars. Shark rating 2.8.
The laces do not chafe me. The shoes do. The balm is for the parts of me that are not laces. This is the first thing I have said that makes sense.
about seven dollars. Shark rating 2.9.
If the lace experiment goes wrong, the blister is the receipt. The patch is the correction. I would rather have both on hand than make a second trip.
about six dollars. Shark rating 3.0.
I can tape a loose lace end, a hot spot, or a note to the fridge. Tape is tape. This tape is for athletes. I am an athlete of laces.
about five dollars. Shark rating 3.1.
A broken lace can be pinned back together for the walk home. This is not a permanent repair. It is a field repair. The field is the sidewalk.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 3.2.
If I test laces by running, I should have bandages. Donna asked why the kit is in the kitchen. I said the kitchen has good light for lace inspection. She said the kitchen has good light for stitches.
about six dollars. Shark rating 3.3.
A snagged nail can pull a lace. The clippers live in the shoe bin now. That is where the snags happen.
about seven dollars. Shark rating 3.4.
Shoes get damp and laces get unhappy. Powder keeps the shoe dry. I do not know the mechanism. I know the powder is in a bottle and the bottle has a lid.
about eight dollars. Shark rating 3.5.
The laces go in the bag and the bag goes in the wash. This keeps the laces from wrapping around the agitator. The washing machine does not need a lace incident.
about fourteen dollars. Shark rating 3.6.
The sock is the lace’s neighbor. A good sock means less rubbing and fewer complaints from the foot. I have socks. I do not have socks that are part of the lace program.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 3.7.
The insole sits under the foot and above the shoe. It does not touch the lace directly. It changes the angle of the foot, which changes the angle of the lace. That is a stretch. It is also an insole stretch.
about six dollars. Shark rating 3.8.
Round laces are for shoes with round eyelets. I have one pair with round eyelets. I am not saying they are better. I am saying they are round. The shoes are not the same shoes.
about six dollars. Shark rating 3.9.
Flat laces hold a knot and do not slide. They are the workhorse. Workhorses do not need a display case. That is why the display case is for the gold ones.
about eight dollars. Shark rating 4.1.
Waxed laces stay tied in the rain. I do not run in the rain on purpose. I run in the rain when the forecast is wrong. The wax is for the forecast.
about ten dollars. Shark rating 4.3.
These are for the days I do not want to test my knot. They are still laces. They just have a different job. The job is to preserve the knot budget.
about six dollars. Shark rating 5.0.
This is the plain pack. It has laces in colors I can name without a paint chart. When one breaks I replace it and go back out. Donna said we could have started here. I said we did start here. This is where we ended up. She said, “Just buy the damn laces.”