I cancelled Kindle Unlimited. It was about twelve dollars a month. That is roughly the cost of a coffee and a bun on every trip to the public library, assuming the bun is modest and the coffee is not complicated. The books at the library are free. The walk is free. The coffee and bun are now a line item. I have made a list for Donna.
about twenty-two thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
The public library is a fine building. It is not attached to my house. A small annex would solve this. Donna says we have a garage. Garages hold cars. We have one car. The books are already winning.
about eleven hundred dollars. Shark rating 0.5.
If I am walking to the library, I need coffee at the start and coffee at the end. A cart can be pushed ahead of me with the machine on it. Donna says the sidewalk is not for espresso carts. I say the sidewalk is not for anything if we are not willing to try.
about two hundred twenty dollars. Shark rating 0.6.
The library gave me a card. It is plain. An embosser would make it official. Donna says the card is already official. I say official is a spectrum. This rating is not about quality. It is about how much of this conversation I survive.
about seventy-five dollars. Shark rating 0.7.
For the books I own. They should know they are mine. The library books already have stamps, and I respect that. I am not stamping library books. I am stamping my books, in the manner of a man who has his affairs in order.
Reading chair shaped like a shark
about fourteen hundred dollars. Shark rating 0.8.
The chair should reflect the reader. I am a shark. I read. Donna says the current chair reflects the reader because it has a dent in it. The dent is not a design. The dent is wear.
about thirty-eight dollars. Shark rating 0.9.
The library smells like books. My den smells like den. A candle would close the gap. Donna says a candle is not a personality. I am not asking it to be a personality. I am asking it to smell like paper and quiet.
about two hundred ninety dollars. Shark rating 1.0.
I have fins. Pages stick. This is assistive technology. Donna says I can turn pages with my fins. I can also open jars with my teeth. We do not do things because we can. We do them because there is a machine.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.1.
The walk home from the library is short. A bun should not go cold in a short walk. This is not indulgence. It is temperature management. Donna says I eat the bun before I leave the library steps. I say that is a different problem.
about five hundred fifty dollars. Shark rating 1.2.
For the library steps. I will not sell anything. It is just my coffee and bun, moved ceremonially. Donna says I can carry a cup. I can. But a trolley says I have arrived. A cup says I am passing through.
about eight hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.3.
The public library has ladders. I respect their ladders. I need my own for the top shelf at home. The top shelf has three books and a box of batteries. The batteries are not books, but they are up there.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.5.
I am not using a computer for this. The card catalog was a system. I want a system. Donna says we have a cabinet. It is the kitchen cabinet. That is not a system. That is where the crackers are.
about eighty dollars. Shark rating 1.6.
For small print. The chain prevents loss. Donna says I have reading glasses. I say a monocle is a choice, not a medical device. She says that is exactly what a medical device would say.
about one hundred ten dollars. Shark rating 1.7.
It holds a book open while I drink coffee. It is a third hand. Donna says I have two hands and a wife. I say the wife is not a book cradle. She has made that clear.
about thirty-five dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
For windy days on the library lawn. Pages flip. Weights hold. I will not chase pages across the lawn again. The librarian remembers. I remember. The pages remember.
about twenty-eight dollars. Shark rating 1.9.
Library books need care. If I repair one, I am helping. If I repair one badly, I am learning. Donna says learning on library books is not the same as helping. I say it is a process.
about twenty-four dollars. Shark rating 2.0.
I carry books in the rain. I am a shark. Rain is not a problem for me. Books are not sharks. The covers are for them.
about sixteen dollars. Shark rating 2.1.
The library stamps the date. I can stamp my own date at home. It is not official. It is morale. Donna says morale is not a due date. I say morale is what gets you to the due date.
about nine dollars. Shark rating 2.2.
A stamp without ink is a frown. I have seen it. This keeps the frown away.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 2.3.
Books fall over. These hold them. Donna says gravity is free. I say brass is not. We are both right, which is why the bookends are on the list.
about fourteen dollars. Shark rating 2.4.
For reading in bed. Donna sleeps. I read. The light clips to the book. It does not clip to Donna. This is the compromise.
about twenty-six dollars. Shark rating 2.5.
Not for bed. For the chair. Different job. A lamp is furniture that makes light. Donna says we have a lamp. We have a lamp that makes light in the corner. This one would make light in the other corner.
about thirty-two dollars. Shark rating 2.6.
For cookbooks. I do not cook. I read cookbooks and make toast. The toast is not from the book. The book still needs a stand. Donna says this is the most me thing on the list. I am taking that as support.
about seven dollars. Shark rating 3.0.
Sticky notes fall out. These do not. I have lost too many sticky notes in the couch. The couch is not a filing system. Donna says the couch is a couch. I say it is also a place where notes go to die.
about five dollars. Shark rating 3.1.
One for each book. A bookmark is cheaper than a second copy. Donna says I only read one book at a time. I say that is a failure of ambition. She says it is a failure of shelf space.
about eighteen dollars. Shark rating 3.2.
For carrying books. It says library on it. I do not need to explain myself to the librarian. The bag explains. Donna says I already have a bag. It says gym on it. The librarian is not fooled.
about twenty-two dollars. Shark rating 3.4.
For the walk. Coffee stays warm. The library has a sign about drinks. The cup has a lid. The sign says no drinks. I respect the sign by keeping the lid on. Donna says that is not respect. I say it is a lid.
about twenty-nine dollars. Shark rating 3.5.
For coffee on the return trip. Two coffees in one walk is not greed. It is pacing. Donna says I will not sleep. I say I will read. These are different problems.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 3.6.
This is the coffee and bun fund. The subscription money goes here. Donna can see the balance. It is not a hidden account. I want that noted. The card is small. The note is large.
about three dollars. Shark rating 3.7.
One bun per trip. I have run the numbers. The numbers are one bun. Donna says I do not need a line item for a bun. I say a bun is the line item. Without the bun, the walk is just exercise.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 3.8.
For the coffee at home. The walk to the library is long. I need coffee before the walk, then bun after. This is not complicated. Donna says it is complicated. I say she is describing the walk.
about ten dollars. Shark rating 3.9.
The paper filters run out. I forget. Then I have coffee with silt. The silt is not a feature. Donna says I could remember to buy filters. I say I could also own this filter. One of these is a plan.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 4.0.
For the small print. The library has small print. I have small patience. Glasses help. Donna says I already have glasses. I say these are for the library. The others are for pretending I can read the mail.
about eighteen dollars. Shark rating 4.1.
The library chairs are not my shark chair. I fall asleep. The pillow prevents my head from hitting the reference section. Donna says I should not sleep in the library. I say I should not hit the reference section. We agree on the important part.
about eight dollars. Shark rating 4.2.
For the library. People whisper. The whisper is loud. I read with my eyes, but my ears are involved. Donna says I can ask them to be quiet. I say ear plugs are quieter than a conversation.
about twelve dollars. Shark rating 4.3.
For cold reading. The fingers stay free to turn pages. The hands stay warm. Donna says gloves with fingers also work. I say then the fingers are not free. She says that is the point of gloves. This is why I make the list.
about twenty dollars. Shark rating 4.4.
The walk is cold. The library is warm. The scarf comes off. This is not fashion. It is logistics. Donna says I do not need a scarf. I say I do not need a cold neck. She says those are the same thing. I say they are not.
about twenty-five dollars. Shark rating 4.5.
For the house. I read at home too. The floor is cold. Slippers are the minimum. Donna says I have slippers. They are in the garage. The garage is not the house. The slippers are not in the house. This is how the annex started.
about twelve dollars. Shark rating 4.8.
Good socks. Not library socks, not reading socks. Socks. The walk is longer than it looks. The subscription money covers the coffee and bun. The socks are separate. Donna has never questioned socks. That worries me. I may have underbudgeted for socks.